Rant.....

Listening to: Alexisonfire- no transitory

It sucks feeling like you've wasted your time, especially when its something important and expensive like school. I have felt that way latley, actually a series of feelings that led to the feeling of failure or that I didnt try hard enough. I had one shot at school, I spent all my time and money on it, and still have the remnants of a big ass loan to worry about. I've heard lots of stories about people who've spent years in school just to find out that what they were taking "wasnt for them". I dont mean to sound so serious because its not the end of the world but it is something very important to me and I dont really have anything else to fall back on.

One of the worst things about being in the CGanimation/visual effects industry is that nobody cares. Seriously you can never stop learning it to be able to do this shit its very complex and its so much work for something so insignificant like talking animals, or cartoons. Maybe I love cartoons and I'm proud of what I have learned and what I have done so far, but to other people its just silly cartoons. Look at pixars "cars" it took 5+ years to make and cost 125 million$! for a silly cartoon! Another bad thing is not being able to talk about your work with other people. They arent going to care that even though you spent so much time learning a new program just to do Zbrush displacement maps to put on your 400000 polygon model together with bumps and normals and subsurface scattering to find out its all crap now because something better has come out so it is obsolete! people just zone out. So you can see its hard talking about work with other people when you have no remote similarities. Or maybe no one cares at all. I dunno. Its so frustrating I cant do anything maybe ill work at mcdonalds.

I this sounds so strange but I would seriously sell my organs to go back to school. Let me know if someone can hook me up.